Every First Sucks

modry — Mon, 14 May 2007 23:15:03 +0000

So it was the night of the Triple-Feature on the Sundance Channel and it was Mother’s Day. And it was the my mother’s first Mothers’ Day without my father, the man who made her a mother. Every first sucks. This is what we are learning (as if we didn’t know that already). Anyway… My brother and sister-in-law and nephew (the little boy who played the sax in Ek Velt) and who will be Bar Mitzvah in a matter of weeks, they had lunch with my mom… And I got her for dinner and a movie.. And not our movies…. BECAUSE NOT ONLY HAS MY MOTHER SEEN THEM, she lived them.. And I don’t think she could bare seeing my dad. So despite the fact that I sent out thousands of emails to make sure folks knew about the broadcast… And despite the fact that it is only on rare occasions… On average just about every five to six years that I can turn on a t.v. set and see one of my films on without also having to place the film in the vhs/dvd and push play…. I did not watch it on Sundance… I never even saw a coming attraction. I spent time with the unedited LIVE version, my mother on Mother’s Day.

So when the whole country (well I would like to think so..) so while a mere fraction of the country was watching the Helfands deal with the scourge of DES on the Sundance Channel we were out eating Portuguese food at Luzias @ 80th and Amsterdam/NYC. We never made it to Oren Redovsky’s “the treatment” (which I hear is GREAT and you all should do) but we did have what felt like our first “date” as a mother and a daughter — well it was the first “date” out since my dad died.

In the big picture, this is the first time my mom is “alone” since she was 18-years-old. They were together 60 years. If I got married tomorrow I would not have that. This past October they moved from the beige vinyl-sided retirement community in EK VELT (East Moriches) to a brick apartment house in Westchester, gorgeous!! It is a great apartment. And we all live close to them/her. The problem is now my mother has to essentially start all over. At 78 it is not easy. Hell… At 42 and a half it is not easy living alone… (hopefully I won’t make a habit of it… Does that sound like a Groucho Marx line?). I think that this next phase in my mom’s life might make an interesting film… A next step. A really good reason for us to spend some time together…. Hmmm. What do you think?

Anyway we had a great dinner and a lovely walk home… And so this morning we got in the elevator to go down to the street — me, mom and Tasch, my brindle shepherd mix who I am convinced is my Bubby Sarah Plutzik Helfand who has come back from the dead to do an intervention via my/her rescue at the corner of 9th street and 3rd avenue in November 2006. So we three get in and the elevator goes up. A lady from 12 steps in. She takes a look at me and then at my mom. I of course am nervous that she is nervous around my dog who wears a muzzle in the building as a safety measure.

“Wait a second.. Are you… I watched you last night on TV… You know I wasn’t sure.. But then I looked at you (pointing to my mom) and I realized you were both here and it was you… OH MY G-D!!!!

Well.. My dog Tasch was very impressed. She had no idea who she was living with all these months. As we were exiting the building the lady from 12 said.. “what an amazing story…. I grew up in New England in a beautiful house and my mother did the same thing to it….. FASCINATING… And the way you all followed that!” And then we all walked out and wouldn’t you know it. I had called a car service to take my mom back to Westchester so she wouldn’t have to deal with the trains… And the car was a black sedan.. And it was like this movie star was stepping into her car…. The lady from 12 was a little star struck. And why not? My mom is something special.

BY THE WAY… If anyone out there knows of a Mah Jong game in the New Rochelle area — my mom is looking for one.